Working in Cafés


Another glass of white wine, chardo-nnaayy.

In the past few days, I’ve earned some hard-earned cash by doing various freelance work. Man, hustling for work on the internet is only for the brave. And the pale. I’ve seen so much horror, so many worthless SEO text assignments, work-out app translations, online casino advertising schemes. Filthy money.

I thought I’d go to a café to feel more freelancy-free and bohemic with my work. Now I am here, literally trapped in a corner by a group of generic mid-level business people. Sometimes when I’m surrounded by artists and aesthetes, I find myself talking appreciatively about business people, admiring their skills in the noble art of making money, a discipline in which me and my friends rarely shine. I often dream of lucrative business schemes, smiling in my sleep. But now, being swamped by them, I realize just how angry I get when I hear someone who is absolutely serious with business jargon. No, wait, it’s not just the jargon. It’s something else. Their after-work chat is simply unbearable. One of them explains the difference between SEO, SEA and SEM. She beams with pride. Anyone with that knowledge should be ashamed of himself.

- You should become an in-house consultant, another says.

- What is the most expensive beauty creme brand? the only man in the group asks.

- Those are called pinchos.

- I really like our new premises and our new co-workers. Things are really happening.

- When I moved to Lidingö, I thought it’d be paradise, but really, it’s a suburb.

- No, Lidingö is nice!

- Yes, but there are high rises.

- But don’t forget, you can be on Stureplan in 15 minutes.

God, it’s a parody.

Apartments, which one to buy.

- A mortgage loan, that’s not a problem for you, is it?

Pension funds. I want to steal a pincho. I’m done here.

1 comment to Working in Cafés

  • Jan Lindholm

    “Do you know what CMS, SEO and LMFAO means? Good, you’re hired as a social media content assistant designer”.

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